Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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