Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
