She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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