You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
