Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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