There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
