It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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