I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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