i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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