I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
