Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
