careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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