I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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