im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize