1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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