So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
