before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
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