best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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