I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
