I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
