I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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