Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We need to get me chipped asap
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
