The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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