oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
