It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
