who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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