one two three fourrrrnication!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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