I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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