How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I have post one night stand depression
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
