I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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