white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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