Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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