well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
