(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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