i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
