He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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