we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
