things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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