If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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