Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
