Don't you send me to vm
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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