"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
