dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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