the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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