i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
