you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
