After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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