Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
