adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
