She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
