At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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