so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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