my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
