I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
