Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
