I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
