Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
