It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
