Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
