hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
