I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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