i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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