I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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