Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
